When you feel you need to break up with your town



You’re bored with the lore of the subway system that once was, a grocery chain that eats up small business potential, large corporations that just can’t pull through anymore, a signature dish that is picnic food piled on top of each other.

The picturesque Finger Lakes are in your backyard and since childhood, they are the backdrop to many parties and events. You continue to take advantage of them until the novelty wears off. When out-of-towners are breathlessly taken away by the views, you don’t understand why.

When the regular haunts you visited in your 20’s just don’t have the same appeal in your 30’s. Or any public place, for that matter. You’d rather be home and snuggle with Netflix.

You try to give festivals, town events and other things out of your comfort zone and chance, and no. Just no. The magic is gone.

When you get to know someone new, they eventually ask you, “Why are you here? This place is too small for you to grow!”

When you constantly ask yourself, “What does this place offer me?”

You feel as if you’re in a constant circle of depression and an identity crisis.

Sometimes family and friends can be soul suckers and tear you down for dreaming big.

Staying positive and making the attempt to be adventurous still drags you down.

Jealousy becomes the prominent emotion from “friends,” because there you don’t have many forces keeping you here.

Dreaming of a fresh start becomes obsessive.

Your heart pitter-patters hard, you get sweaty palms and googly-eyed over a new destination.



Image from We Heart It.


2 thoughts on “When you feel you need to break up with your town

  1. Oh I know that feeling! I’ve been thinking of moving on from here as well. Rochester has treated me well when I moved here, but now I’m beginning to feel the squeeze as I wish to grow but there is limited space to do so. I love my friends, they have truly become my family, but they are all moving on and starting their own families and I feel the distant between us widen. But I am scared to move on, I can predict what’s going to happen here and there is a sense of comfort here. This will continuously be on my mind as I work on answering those life questions “where do I be in the next 5-10-20 years?”

    • Sounds like we’re in the same boat! Of course there are great memories and a wonderful extended friend-family here, but I feel the distance and the lack of communication because everyone is moving on to start families. Right now, I want to do so many things before I regret them. I did the business thing, and still see myself self-employed but I do want more freedom to travel (could not do that before!). I’m giving myself a year to save my money and eventually move to NYC.

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