I am feeling much the failure these days. It is not turning thirty so much as it is the eventual turning forty, the fear that I will go another decade without doing a goddamned thing worth doing. What do I have to show for the last one, after all?
-Julie Powell, Julie/Julia
I originally wanted to write a post last week, chronicling my despair and fears of entering a new decade, but I am glad I waited until after the official day that would thrust me past the threshold of a new decade. Now that I think about it now, maybe my fears were a bit whiny, yet I still carry some niggling worries.
Initially, the fears were existential. Since the age of 23 I was thrown head-first into a quarter life crisis. I wondered about my life path, what I wanted to do for income, what I wanted in a potential mate and what area of the world deserved my residence.
The above quote Julie Powell was akin to my mental state from the last few years. Were there deadlines I was supposed to complete in life? Of course, there are no designated ages adult milestones such as career, marriage and kids, but they are part of the eventual plan–and soon. I kept pondering the last ten years. I had not found stability, but what did the last decade show? Personal growth? Any pull in the right direction?
I spent my late teens and early 20’s writing about and for musicians. I was in community college, getting myself freelance gigs and receiving press kits and CD’s in the mail with requests of doing a write-up. I had a name going on, released a short-lived zine, traveled to the west and back to the east to see bands. Suddenly, community college was less of a challenge, I hated the broadcast media program I was matriculated into, sent an application out and transferred to a four-year state school. I studied English and American Studies, with aspirations of tweed blazers, jeans and a Ph.D. Of course, partying ensued, weaving drunk nights between academia.
After graduation, unemployment and a stint at a shoe store, I was hired to work in the special education field. I fully convinced myself education was the plan–I could always go back to school and become a teacher. Lingering in the back of my head though, was the idea to open a bakery. I had notes written down with the epic plans, but finding a place was never in the cards. I had also started writing Flour City Blues, since the writing bug caught me once again. I ditched the idea of press writing for fiction writing. The challenge of prose proved to be a therapeutic and successful endeavor.
Fast forward five years, I gave the job the heave-ho and finally found a retail space. I’m striving towards self-satisfaction and a making a decent living doing something I enjoy doing and only answer to myself. On the side, I continue to write.
I have done loads of work to achieve satisfaction through self-sufficiency. If I do carry any regret into another decade is that I work TOO much. I never stop moving and thinking of the next move or endeavor. Let this decade be the one to bring healthy change, piece of mind and comfortable living!
Turning 30 by Andy Rooney
This is for all you girls 30 years and over….and for those who are turning 30, and for those who are scared of moving into their 30’s! This was written by Andy Rooney from CBS 60 Minutes Andy Rooney says:
As I grow in age, I value women who are over 30 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:
A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, “What are you thinking?”. She doesn’t care what you think.
If a woman over 30 doesn’t want to watch the game, she doesn’t sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it’s usually something more interesting.
A woman over 30 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 30 give a damn what you might think about her or what she’s doing.
Women over 30 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won’t hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.
A woman over 30 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women
friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn’t trust the guy with other women. Women over 30 couldn’t care less if you’re attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won’t betray her.
Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 30 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.
Older women are forthright and honest. They’ll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one! You don’t ever have to wonder where you stand with her.
Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free.” Here’s an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it’s not worth buying an entire Pig, just to get a little sausage.