I’ve had a number of good quips in the last few months, both in person and on Facebook, where it has become the place where I tend to converse with most people since I eat/breathe/sleep the business. Apparently, striving to get a startup off the ground has made me a little comedian. I’m like a Rodney Dangerfield/Phyllis Diller combo, rolled up into one crunchy egg roll wrapper. If anyone is not going to get any respect, it is going to be myself.
Most of my verbal interaction has been with customers, so I have grown into a routine of being inside my own head. My lack of funds have left me comically bitter, leaving me to compare myself to a bum or hobo.
“Want to grab something to eat?”
“Wait, lemme go out and pan handle on the street, maybe I can afford the large sweet tea tonight.”
(Sometimes, that line usually gets me a offer for free food!)
My time is always occupied and I have noticed my physical appearance has pretty much gone to shit. I have nearly equated my eyebrows as being very Frida Kahlo-ish, My hair Buster Brown-like and my eyes sunken in like a corpse. Say hello to the face and physique of a stress-eating business owner. But why, you may ask, what is with the negativity?
I was wondering that myself until I visited my trusty friend Google. Do all angry people, broke people, down on their luck people tend to whip out of the self-deprecating humor?
In the book, Play Therapy for Adults, self-deprecating humor is “…laughing at ourselves while undergoing stress can serve to lessen the emotional impact of those stressful events.” It sounds completely normal, which is a relief to me, even though I am still convinced I am going crazy (another story for another time).
If self-deprecating humor serves the purpose of lessening the blow from stressful events, is it a defense mechanism? I mean, if you are already tearing yourself down, you are already exposing your own vulnerabilities to the outside. If you’re knocking yourself down, outside forces may not have the proper ammo to fight back.