of resolutions and lessons learned

Every New Year’s Eve is different, a different setting, similar group of friends, but my mental state is the same. I tend to be very depressed-yet-contemplative. Not so much of the goodbye of the previous year, it is the self-evaluation of what I could have done, what is yet to be done and what could be done—–better.

I’m constantly working on improving and opening the shop has opened up many chances and opportunities for later improvement. The Christmas rush. For one this made me sit back and think of altering a few ordering policies, cake prices, stock and many other things. The new year wipes the slate clean and gives me a chance to reopen those doors to the public with a slightly clearer idea and improved organization.

A new year also means many changes and crazy goals I want to complete in the next…uh oh, 364 days (as of writing this now).

work and play schedule
I admit I’m not the most disciplined person. I don’t make resolutions for the sole purpose of the absolute lack of longevity they have with me. They are so over as soon as the thought comes out. I only initialize this, because for a succeeding business and overall sense of personal sanity, I need to balance work and play. The last portion of 2012 was spent in my own head, very little time in my personal and social lives because it was all heavy planning and working my butt off. Of course, I’m not forgotten as I’ve appreciated the visits or surprise texts of encouragement, or “hoping [I’m] kicking ass during the holidays.” Beats a damn Hallmark card any day.

I honestly don’t remember September-December. It was like a blackout blur of sprinkles, butter and a flour-covered floor.

So yes, I have my many planners (daily, weekly, monthly now!) to organize work life and social life. I knew in the beginning those Friday and Saturday night rendezvous of the past could be few and rare, but eliminating them completely has only shown me that I should be entitled to breaks away from the business…go out, have a good time, it’ll still be there in the morning.

natural mood stabilizers
I am completely drug free now…that is, with prescription medicine. As mentioned in the entry about my having ET, I went through many types of meds, and up until recently, Effexor. I quit Effexor as my insurance was running out and felt the after-effects. Months out of my system now, I feel even though Effexor was treating my tremors, it also helped my mood and helped me cope with the many projects and demands I have in my life. I started at a gym, which is actually consistent for me (surprise, surprise) and will be making time for yoga during the off days at the gym.

promote FLOUR CITY BLUES more
I’ve worked really hard on that novel! I didn’t give myself the credit at throwing it out there for the masses as I should have. It is something I love and really want everyone to know it and have it a part of their library.

Also, must find time to write more! Blog, novels, nonfiction, freelance.

think of myself

This may sound selfish, but I rarely give myself the time of day. Maybe, just maybe I will send myself off to a retreat for a mini break.

cliche I know, but don’t sweat the small stuff
Forgot to order enough flour? Ran out of butter? Of course, these cannot be consistent mistakes, but I must learn to realize that I am human and people can also realize this as well. breathebreathebreathe.

Are you ready to take 2013 by the horns? I’m so ready.

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